I don't understand my life anymore and I don't know why I do the things I do and why I feel the way I feel all the time.

I can't believe how many friends I've lost, or never really had in the first place.

I don't understand how people act like they act.

I am very obviously depressed, but even then, I don't see this as some sort of "oh he just feels bad for no reason all the time" thing. Its just everything is bad all the time.

I can't stop thinking about just giving up, maybe killing myself. Ill be driving and my mind will wander and ill think about just cranking the wheel left and ending it all.

Who knows how ill feel tomorrow.

Entirely alone.

Feeling fairly lost as of late.

Dunno what I am doing?

I must ascend.

Same old same old.

Feeling better about myself than I have in ages.

Leaving for tour fairly soon I guess.

I would just like to say that integrity is the best hc band of all time.

Been having an amazing time lately. Been getting out there and living. Spring has thus far been awesome.

Thursday: laced up the boots. I feel pretty good about it.

Friday: got off work early, went out to stella's with jasdave then went to the albert and partied pretty hard. Began to lay the gravel down.

Saturday: went out for dinner with jasdave, amanda and braulio at spring roll. It was pretty good. Went to my moms for a bit. Picked up jasdave, braulio, amanda and talya and went to the legion to watch retards do karaoke. So bad. But funny. Dropped off everyone and went home. Set up the foundation.

Sunday: woke up way too early and watched justin cement his legacy. Went to my moms again and helped her get groceries / saw my cat. Came home and started watching the entire first season of the x-files.

Anyways, the gravel is down, the foundation is set. Now all I gotta do is CEMENT THE LEGACY.


CEMENT THE LEGACY.

P.S FUCK YOUR COMPLIMENTS, BITCH, I KNOW IM THE SHIT. FROM MY HAIR TO MY NAILS AND THE GAME I SPIT.

Had a really good weekend.

Friday: actually, I don't even remember what I did friday? I don't really think I did all that much. I was just pumped cuz it was pay day ha.

Saturday: was gonna go to the states for shopping but the trip fell apart. So I went out for brunch with ryley and jasdave. Went to stella's on osborne and had some pretty real eggs, bacon and pancakes. Pretty delicious. Other than that, just chilled. Went out for dinner with tessa at earls. It was pretty good. I had a steak which was decent and some garlic mashed potatoes, which were good. After that, she went to a movie with her friend and I went to visit my mom and cat. Went to go pick up tuggy and just watched justin play fight night all night long.

Sunday: went out for brunch, again, at stellas, again, this time with tessa. Had the mexican breakfast and it was soooo good. Went to baked expectations after and had to fight the urge to break edge on a cake ha ha. After that just came home and did some major spring cleaning, it went pretty good. House is looking really nice. I think tomorrow ill clean up my room a bit more.

All in all, I am feeling really good lately, but also really fidgetty. On one hand, I kinda want to be left alone but some people just keep peeking their heads into my life. On the other hand, I wanna get so many things off my back and off my chest that I dunno if thatd work out too well. All in all though, I am feeling great. I just don't really have any emotional attachment to anything lately.

Our new 7" is on its way to the pressing plants now. We'll have copies available for tour that's for sure. So I gotta work on an awesome tour version cover. Maybe also a release show cover.

We got confirmed for a couple of major festivals in europe. It was surprisingly easy to do really. Brad put it best when we were asked how we got on there: because we're fucking withdrawal.

This year, instead of spending my birthday in this rotten shithole of a city with fake people doing whatever, ill be in europe living my dream with my best friends.

Life is good.